Discouraged Racer :(

So I’m starting my second year racing expert category and let me tell you it’s not going so well.  I had a stellar year in 2008 and per the rules, which have since been changed, I had to move to expert.  Since the rules did change, I could have moved back to sport, but I wanted the challenge.  I am getting more than I can handle.

During 2009 I raced Expert in MMBA series and Sport in USAC series. I didn’t want to invest in the license required for USAC since I wasn’t sure how many races I would be doing.  Even racing sport, my best finish in the USAC was 5th.  I wrote off 2009 to a training season since I also increased the number of triathlons I was doing.  My training was broken up between swimming, biking and running. 

Enter 2010.  I have 5 races under my belt (and one 10k running race).  The first was the Barry Roubaix dirt road race, which I thought I did okay considering I had the worst gearing possible for the race.  12-21 cassette on a CX bike and tons of hills.  I should have just used my mountain bike (I borrowed the CX bike the night before from my cousin). 

The following races I just couldn’t perform at the level I wanted too.  At Yankee TT, my race time was slower than my training time.  Every time I step on the gas, my engine sputters.  This past weekend really hit home. It was a stage race, meaning two races on Saturday (TT and Crit) and one on Sunday (XC).  I finished last in the TT, which I thought had to do with course knowledge.  Never ridden the course before.  Ran it during an Xterra, just never ridden.  During my warm-ups, I noticed my legs were burning up fast.  Apparently they have not recovered from the 10k race the weekend before. 

Then came the crit race, which I’ve NEVER done before.  Fun race and great crowd.  Again,  I step on the gas and all I get is sputtering. 

Come Sunday and I was dragging my ass to the starting line.  The XC race starts.  I wasn’t sure if I would even do it since my lower back was fried, which after an adjustment on second lap (seat height), that helped a lot.  Wish I would have fixed it during Fort Custer a couple weeks earlier.  I was almost bed ridden after that race my lower back hurt so much. 

Anyways, the first lap I was feeling mentally positive, physically drained. I actually was passing people.  I adjusted my seat post at start of second lap and took off. I started to pass more and more people.  Then boom.  Body had enough.  I continue on the third lap and this is where i was mentally crushed.  An Elite racer passed me (lapped) and he turned around and asked why I was even racing.  Normally I’d invite him to get off his bike so I could shove his bike up his ass, but my ego has taken five races of crappy performance. 

I started to wonder why I even bother to race.  I have a pure breed racing bike, 2010 S-Works Epic, with a basically a beginner racer on it.  I feel like a poser.  My race times would barely register in sport category.  Today I can’t motivate myself to train.  I still ask why I bother to race.  I was crushed by the Elite’s comments to me on the trail. 

I read some of my posts during my stellar 2008 season and it’s just night and day difference.  My HR zones and Muscular Endurance was so strong.  Not so much anymore.

So I have to ask myself: What’s changed?

1. My HR maxes almost instantly and barely recovers
2. My legs blow up instantly and barely recover.

Why do I think this is so?

1. Maybe the break up of training (swim, bike, run) is causing recovery issues and I’m entering races burned out still. 
1. Fix:  Don’t do as many races or use some races as part of your training if they fit in
2. My training is not as structured despite having a coach put together a training package. 
1. Fix: Go back to 2008 and repeat what you did then.
3. I’m on new medication for ADHD. I asked my doctor if this affects performance and he didn’t think so, however after a google search, there were a ton of information from athletes who say their HR maxes out quickly on this medication, which is exactly my problem. Also weight gain is a side-affect.  I’m 10 pounds heavier and despite all my activity, can’t lose a single pound.
1. Fix: Change medication.  Have an appointment in two weeks.

I don’t want to stop racing. I enjoy it, but right now I feel like a burden to my fellow expert racers.  I know every category somebody has to finish last but I’m not okay with that.  I hope these changes help.